A lot of people in the phone sex industry are weird...

I know, I know, I shouldn't make judgements on people who do the same thing I do. However, I think of Zoe as a way to pay my bills while I'm in college. I make a lot of money doing it, I don't have to worry about my rent anymore, and I have money left over to pay my bills, and even go out when I want to. It's a stopover. There are some people who work at TCG who have been there for going on fifteen years...that has got to do something to your psyche, don't you think? Talking dirty probably affects you in a billion ways that you don't realize, psychologically speaking. I mean, for me, I know that it has definitely made me more open to ideas. It's also majorly damaged my idea of men (which wasn't so hot to begin with). I'm pretty convinced that the majority of you either wear women's panties, eat your own cum, want a girl to use a strap-on on you, or get off on the idea of little kids....so I pretty much hate you all.

Anyway, back to the girls I work with...let's just say that no one who works there is going to win a beauty contest anytime soon. There are a few college students there, those are the ones that I think are going to get out of the industry eventually. Then there are the ones who have 348234 kids and a boyfriend who sounds like a really big loser. I can't imagine being a phone sex operater with a husband and kids. I wonder how their husbands deal with it? How humiliated do you think those kids would be if it got out that their mom talked dirty to guys on the phone all night? After I'm done working here, I'm NEVER telling anyone...too much can be used against you. Then, there was this girl who just recently quit. She cracked me up; she lived with her boyfriend and played WoW all the time. She also had this crazy wild hair on her chin, but that's neither here nor there...anyway, she was really into hentai and anime, which I thought added to her bizzareness. However, one day we were talking, and she says something about her "bitch boy". Wait, what? Oh yeah, apparently she has a "slave boy" that LIVES IN HER CLOSET. At first I thought she was full of shit, until she showed me pictures...which leads me to say...

what the fuck is wrong with people?! I know I work at a phone sex place, but sometimes I am astounded at the things that turn people on. Guys who eat their cum--you make me want to vomit. Guys who wear women's panties...that makes you pretty gay, if you want to know the truth. Guys who want to rape little kids, well you should be shot in the face. As for the guy I talked to last night who wanted me to stick my ENTIRE FIST inside of myself--let me let you in on a little secret. No woman is going to think a FIST in her VAGINA feels good. Seriously. A few fingers, yeah, you know, great. A whole hand? REALITY CHECK. I hate calls like those--mainly because those men are absolutely delusional.

So, before I wind up, here's my story of the night from yesterday. There's this guy who calls in pretty often; we'll call him John. Now, John's little fetish involves really muscular men fighting, you know, boxing or whatever. Actually, John is just obsessed with muscles in general, whether on a male or female. He likes big barrel chested men and hot girls with really muscular thighs and calves in high heels. Now, his fantasy involves having a muscular girl masturbating while she watches him and another really muscular guy boxing. She orgasms when he gets knocked out, as does he. Now, the annoying thing about John is that he doesn't just tell you this stuff; he makes you guess. He says things like, "Now, knowing what you know about me, why do you think that turns me on?" Or, "Now that you've heard that, what percentage heterosexual do you think I am, and what percentage homosexual?" Well, let's see, I think you're probably about 90% gay, because I don't know any straight guys who get off on the idea of being beaten up by a guy in a gymnast outfit, nor do I know any straight guys who wear daisy duke jean shorts like you do. Okay, I mean, yeah, there's Tyler Durden, but that's fictional, and I mean, he's Brad Pitt, he can get off on whatever he wants to. Also, why do I think that turns you on? Probably because you're FUCKING WEIRD. I don't have another answer for you. I am not a shrink; get out of here.

Men's Perspectives on Phone Sex

You know, I've told a number of people about my "other job". I haven't had even a single bad reaction yet, but that could also be that I am extraordinarily careful about who I'm telling. I don't want to be judged, so I make sure that the people I share with are openminded. Without fail, I seem to get the same reactions from the same groups of people. Girls are fascinated, and want to know how I can do it without constantly laughing. The guys are intrigued, of course, but it seems like the vast majority of them look down on men who call phone sex lines. Now, we have a lot of callers, so I know that phone sex is not nearly as taboo as my friends would make it seem. They laugh about it, and think that the guys who call us are losers. I'm sure that in many cases that's true, but it seems to me that the most callers are either sexually devient or else just plain lonely.

Granted, demographically speaking, they seem to be older than the college aged kids I'm telling about this now. Give 'em ten years or so and see if they are so set against calling places like TCG when they've been married for a few years and their wife is no longer putting out. Yeah, it's like paying for sex, but it's really no different from porn, except more expensive. As for being able to do it without laughing, well, that is why they invented mute buttons my friends...it is impossible not to laugh sometimes.

Seriously, do you guys out there have any idea how ridiculous you sound when you're orgasming?

Anyway, I need to wind this up, I have to work tonight, but I'll leave you with the gem of the night from yesterday. The phone rings, and I answer it, "Thanks for calling TCG". There's a moment of silence and then a woman's voice, "Hello?"
Me: "Hi. I think you have the wrong number."
"Who is this?"
"I think you have the wrong number."
"Where's David?"
"What?"
"Where's David?"
"Uh, there's no David here."
"Who is this?"
"I think you have the wrong number."
"What number did I call?"
Long awkward pause while I find the number, mess it up, and then recite it properly "555-555-5555"
"So. David's back into phone sex again, is he?"
"Uh.....yeah. I guess so. Sorry."
"Well that's just great."
Click.

Sorry David, wherever you are, you now have one pissed off wife/mother/girlfriend, courtesy of Zoe. Don't worry, I won't bill you for that one.

About me...

I've been working at a local phone sex company for a little over a month now, and it seems like I always have a story to tell that is either hilarious or disgusting. I've had demands to create a blog, and who am I to deny the public's right to entertainment?

As an overview, I'm 23 and a senior in college. I have a respectable day job, where I make absolutely no money, and so to supplement my income, I applied for a job at TCG (abbreviation for my job). There, I'm known as Zoe. I'm 19, 5'4, 110 lbs, with blonde hair and brown eyes, with a 34C 26 34. Let's be honest; Zoe and I have about as much in common as Donald Trump and Britney Spears. However, three nights a week, I put on my "maven of the night" disguise and pick up the phone. For only $1.99/minute I will talk dirty to you about anything under the sun. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, anything you want. Live, unrestricted, adult phone conversation.

Now, I'm a pretty smart girl. I know that I am not going to work at this place forever, but it's definitely entertaining, and I get a great perspective on the perverted male psyche. So, this blog is going to be full of stories about people I work with, calls I've received, and my own general thoughts on the matter. I mean, really, what's more entertaining than hearing about men's innermost desires, not to mention their complete gullibility when it comes to talking to us girls. (What, you want me to touch myself? Anything for you.) Since this blog will clearly contain adult content, I guess I should put in a disclaimer about not reading if you find it offensive or you're under 18.


I'm not going to tell you guys very much about me, because this blog is an embarrasment in and of itself and I don't want anyone in my family finding out about my "other" job. If you're one of the few readers who know me in real life, I just ask that you don't say anything that will give clues about my identity, including using my real name. I am sure you can understand, I mean, would you want your mom to know that you were a phone sex operator? I don't think so.