He was from such a good family...

Last night was a really, really long night. I came in early for one of the girls, and let me tell you, nine hours of phone sex is too many for me. Plus, I don't know if it was just because it was friday night, or what, but there were a bunch of crazies calling in.

The Night of the Jacker: So, for about an hour last night, I kept getting two guys calling in on both our lines. I accidentally made the mistake of telling one of them my name a few months ago, when I first started. We're not supposed to tell them anything about ourselves until we've verified that they are an actual client, or, if they're new, until we have all of their information...mainly to avoid situations like this. So there's this guy who calls and he pretends like he has a stutter, but apparently according to one of the other girls, he doesn't. So, he sits and stutters on the phone because it gives him more time to jack off. Gross. So, anyway, ever since I told him my name, he has had this obsession with talking to me, so when he found out that I was working last night, he wouldn't stop calling. I was being a total bitch to him too, to make him stop, because I'd pick up the phone and say hello, and he'd say something stupid, like, "Do you like me? You want my dick, don't you?" Or my favorite little gem, "I just came for you." Gross. Don't cum for me...yuck. Haha, but when he said that, I was like, "Wow, that's fabulous. NOW STOP CALLING." Finally, the last time he called I said to him, "If you call one more time, I am going to report you for telephone harrassment. Do you know what they'll do to you for that?" Then he hung up on me and didn't call anymore. Zoe: 1 Jackers: 0. So, then there was another guy who kept calling, and I swear to god these fools need ettiquette classes or something. I think they just like the idea of being able to say whatever they want to a girl without fear of a lawsuit or a slap in the face. So this one guy kept calling me and asking me if I would do all these dirty things to him. It was getting really old, so finally when he said, "Come on baby, you want to suck my dick, don't you?" I said, "Not even if you paid me a lot of money" and hung up on him. He didn't call back either. Guys and their egos are really funny. Zoe: 2, Jackers: 0

Such a Good Family: So, there's this guy who I have talked to twice now. He's crazy. He likes to be tied up, and he likes it when you tease him, and then fuck other guys in front of him, or fuck him but don't let him cum. So, anyway, he never really says anything much on the phone, he just likes to watch (or listen, as it were). So, he's amazingly boring, and it was pretty late. The hardest part of my night starts around 3:30 or so, it's so hard for me to make it through that last hour and a half or so, because I get so tired. So, I'm stuck on the phone with McBoring, and I kind of fell asleep. Not the snoring kind of sleep, but that haze that you get when you're in a boring class or meeting, you can still manage to take notes and stuff, but they're pure nonsense. So I was still talking, which is no surprise, since I do actually talk in my sleep, but I wasn't making a bit of sense. I started having a dream about Jesus and Judas (uhh, don't ask, I don't know why) and Judas was being hung and everyone was talking about it, and I actually woke myself up by saying, "But he came from such a good family". The guy I was talking to was like, "What?" And I had to cover it up and say, "Oh, I don't know...mmm. I love fucking you." Right. I love it so much I'd rather fall asleep and dream about Judas and Jesus. Then, I kept zoning out and forgetting who was supposed to be fucking who and who was watching, and I'd go from one to the other almost indiscriminantly. Luckily for me, he didn't seem like he noticed. This guy was also funny because he told me he hadn't gotten laid in almost a year--but then he defended himself by saying, "But, I've been working out in the middle of no where, and all the girls out there are big and ugly, and I'm not going to settle for junk." I love the male psyche. You guys are winners, you know that, right?

Good Thing I Wore My Stilettos: I think this call made me feel more uncomfortable than any one I've had so far. This guy was strange to begin with, he wanted me to take off my stilettos and well, sorry, this is gross, but fuck him in the ass with the heel. Yuck. So, whatever, I mean, it's definitely not the first time I've heard that. It's still disturbing, but that's fine, I can do that. So, we're talking about it and all of a sudden he gets really serious and says, "Hey Zoe" and I'm like, "Yeah?" and he says, "Tell me you love me." Me: "Uhhhhh...." I have issues with that word anyway, and I have a really hard time trying to sound honest saying it to some guy who currently is imagining me sliding a heel up his butt. I said it though, and then he was like, "Oh, I love you too. I love you so much." STOP BEING CREEPY. STOP IT. Leave the phone sex girl alone, they do not pay me enough to listen to your declarations of love.


That's really all I can remember from last night that's amusing. There are some creepers out there...and girls, keep an eye on your shoes, you never know what's going to happen to them if you turn your back. Yikes.